As Deep as the Ocean: An Appreciation of Sanditon 🌊🌊🌊 Second Post: 10 years later!

It's been 10 years since I've written in this blog. Somehow life got in the way and days turned into weeks that turned into years. I started this as a single, publishing professional living in Brooklyn.  Now, I live in Los Angeles and I'm a mom but still work in publishing and still love books and the power of words. 2020 has been an exceptionally unique and challenging year as we live through a global pandemic. The Covid crisis pushed many of us indoors in an effort to keep safe and stop the spread. 10 months in, the year has been marked by political and social unrest which have only further exacerbated the stress of living through the pandemic. Even as I write this, just days after our presidential election, there's chaos and extreme division with the outcome of the election still undecided.  To navigate this very rocky terrain of 2020, I sought to reconnect with old loves, needing comfort and familiarity. I needed things that would soothe like a cup of tea.  

So, I started reading old favorite books like Pride & Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables and throwing myself into watching every period drama I could find. I binge watched Downton Abbey, Poldark, The Forsyte Saga, Belgravia, Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Sense & Sensibility, and many more. Some of the shows were new to me, but I've been a sucker for historical romance since I was a young teen. In college, I took a class on Jane Austen and devoured all of her books, particularly struck by the timeless love in Persuasion and how someone could "pierce your soul" so much that no amount of time or distance could diminish the impact.  I remember the very moment I read this line in my dorm and my breathe caught it was so beautiful.  I still have my beat up, underlined paperbacks and that line in Persuasion will always get to me.  In March, when lockdown started in LA, I began watching these shows again in earnest. I'd finish a series and then immediately seek a new one to dive into. It's been an escape and a refuge in a scary and uncertain time. 

Somehow, that led me down the rabbit hole to discovering Sanditon. This unfinished Jane Austen novel, the last she ever wrote before her untimely death, has become a touchstone for me in 2020. I was completely swept away by this story and because it ended on a heartbreaking cliffhanger, with the hero Sidney Parker and heroine Charlotte Parker painfully separated by the unfairness and cruelty of life, it affected me deeply.  As the show writers would say, "I'm all at sea." To make matters much, much worse I discovered there was no season 2 in the works. I couldn't stop thinking about the show and the devastating cliffhanger and analyzing it. Perhaps I was obsessing over it.  I viscerally felt like I had suffered my own very painful loss, it was so acute. I needed to figure out a way to rescue the characters.

All I could do to cope with the devastating "ending" was seek out more information on the show and from there I discovered the Sanditon community online, joining the fandom campaigning for a second season (truthfully, this is the only time I've ever been interested in social media or any fan group. I was pleasantly surprised to find a lot of like-minded fans who are creative and funny and just as passionate about the show). I began re-watching the show, memorizing all the lines of dialogue, discovering new little nuances and intricacies the actors put into each scene and I truly gained a new respect for their craft.

Is it possible to become a period drama groupie? I think I became one! I've never thought much about the actual craft of acting before Sanditon, just going along for the entertainment ride. Now that I pick apart each scene, I truly can appreciate the sheer talent of actors in bringing these beloved stories to life and how essential their perspectives are in building the characters and interpreting the story.

What's perhaps most special to me about Sanditon though is that it inspired me to start writing again. Not just the writing I do for work everyday as a book publicist, but it inspired me to do my own creative writing. I had such a passion for creative writing when I was a child and into my twenties. But I let it go as I focused more on work and the pressure of promoting the books of the authors I worked with at major publishing houses. I probably felt I needed a clear separation between work and personal life to manage it all.  So, over the years I forgot what it was like to be fired up about my own story ideas. The fire just sort of burned out with the day to day hectic-ness of life. Re-awakening my own creative spark is perhaps the greatest gift of Sanditon.

I started watching Sanditon in July, 4 months into lockdown and like many other fans who were gutted after episode 8, I immediately started writing my own series 2 of how our hero and heroine could be reunited. I had to get all my ideas down and can't remember feeling so driven about a story since I wrote short stories as a teen. The painful ending no doubt affected me harder as I grappled with depressing Covid news daily and months of home time when I'd normally be busy travelling for work and visiting friends and family across the country.  I couldn't believe I completely missed the boat when Sanditon first aired in the US in January. But I didn't hear a word of it or see any of the promotion. I now view the year through a pre-Sanditon and post-Sanditon lens because the show has brought me such joy and angst.

I can't truly articulate why I fell so deeply for Sanditon and why I fell in love with an unfinished story. But in this year of unprecedented trauma, I just know that it captured my imagination in a way that I don't recall feeling since I was a kid, staying up late to read paperbacks under the covers of my bed long after my parents told me I had to go to sleep before school the next day.  I always loved books and I chose a career in publishing where I'd be surrounded by books everyday. But honestly speaking, I haven't felt that pure excitement about a story that pulled me in with every fiber of my mind, heart and body in years.  I binged 7 episodes one night, taking my tablet to bed as I couldn't tear myself away. I realized the sun would rise in a few hours and I desperately needed some sleep before an early workday. Somehow, I’d been transported back to that kid who stayed up late getting lost in a story.  So, I paused to watch episode 8 the following night.

I was in complete bliss the first half of the episode. After all the angst and push and pull of the previous 7 episodes, Charlotte and Sidney acknowledged their feelings on the clifftop with a mesmerizing kiss. Sidney was poised to propose to her at that evening's ball. Then suddenly when the fire hit in the second half of the episode, I trembled with an ominous feeling. By the clifftop farewell ending, I was absolutely gutted. It was such a severe ending it seemed certain they cut it off prematurely. It had to be wrong. I kept imagining and willing Sidney's horse to keeping going and run after Charlotte. I can't remember having such a painful reaction to a show, but I felt sick to my stomach. It was like I really knew these characters who were both left devastated and I cried along with them.  I felt as if I had suffered my own terrible breakup. It was a physical, throbbing pain and an emptiness in my stomach. The actors clearly did an amazing job with their heart-wrenching performance, but also because the story is unfinished, and Austen's novel was just a few chapters of a story she never got to fully realize-- it's just pained me deeply. What could have been? What was meant to be? 

On a brighter note, it's also left me hopeful that there can be endless possibilities in store for Sanditon and this special world of characters. There should be no limits when it comes to love.  As a reminder of this, soon after finishing the show, I hung up a large Jane Austen "And She Lived Happily Ever After" print showing a stack of her books and cup of tea above my desk. I felt like I was 13 years old again trying to believe in fairy tales. But who cares? In this bizarre year, I need that simple affirmation close to me. It makes me happy when I look at it. It reminds me to believe in the power of stories. The print stays put!

 

When I started on the Sanditon journey, the beautiful, seaside setting, and ethereal music first drew me into this magical world. The characters were intriguing and witty, and the story kept a quick pace, with equal doses of humor and heart and plenty of suspense. The brilliant, opposites attract hero and heroine sealed the deal. There were so many moments that took my breath away from the Golden Dance at the London ball to the rowing scene at the regatta to Sidney and Charlotte's spellbinding clifftop kiss, one of the most beautiful I've ever seen in cinema.  I immediately connected with the heroine Charlotte Heywood on so many levels. Yes, she reminded me of the heroine of one of the first books I truly loved as a child, Anne of Green Gables, this gutsy, spirited small town gal who takes on new adventures in a new place. She also reminded me of me somehow too, moving to NYC after college, wide-eyed and ready to explore.

Watching the first episode when Charlotte looks out of the coach window as she arrives in Sanditon, full of wonder and anticipation, I recalled a train ride I took more than 20 years ago into NYC looking out the window at all the lights sparkling like diamonds in the night sky. My heart pounded as I felt the same wonder and longing to be there--I just knew I wanted to walk among those lights. But like Charlotte, I'd also grow up and learn that reality can be painfully different than our perception.  The city was indeed exciting and full of magic, but it was also harsh and exhausting. I learned you must take the good with the bad to move forward. You'll get plenty of both in life.  

As a coping mechanism in waiting for a possible season 2, I was thrilled to discover the community of talented fan fiction writers who also plotted out hypothetical scenarios to reunite our hero and heroine and even created new worlds based on Sanditon characters.  I have now read dozens of fan fictions about Sanditon though prior to July, I didn't even know what fanfiction was. It's uncanny to me that I haven't gotten my fill yet. It may be another addiction, but I have not tired of reading these stories and theorizing on the many different scenarios for Charlotte and Sidney to find their way back to each other.  I love that we can breathe new life into these characters and give them our own happily ever after. Believing in endless possibilities is one of my mantras for life. In many ways, these stories are like writing a "choose your own adventure" story and we get to drive the narrative. 

I have now watched Sanditon more times than I can count because I adore it so much.  It's an absolute tragedy it's been left unfinished but that is for another post I will write. What I especially love about the show is how it encourages me to make connections to other pieces of art and stories.  I'm often recalling other books, films, songs, poems and even paintings that remind me of the show. I thought deeply on the poems of Lord Byron and found myself freshly mesmerized by Gustav Klimt's gorgeous painting of two lovers in a sacred embrace, "The Kiss". How wonderful it's been to re-discover art through fresh eyes after having viewed Sanditon and to discover new artists and writers. I don't think I'd heard of the philosopher, Heraclitus or his quote about the man and the river before Sanditon and now it's embedded in my mind!  

Since I re-watch the show constantly, I'm always picking up on new angles and perspectives. I've written so much analysis of the show on social media and discuss it at length with a new friend I met through the fan discussions. We joked we had a two-person virtual book club about Sanditon.  After watching the end of Episode 8 a few times and trying to stomach that fateful cliffhanger, I kept thinking about two movies: Gone with the Wind and The Sound of Music. I had so many thoughts I wanted to record; my friend suggested I blog about it. I somehow remembered this old blog and after a 15-minute search I found it--happily or not, nothing on the web ever dies. It seems fitting to start the blog again about Sanditon.

A decade ago, I named the blog "Into the Sublime Seas" after my favorite quote from Emerson about diving into new experiences. The first (and only post sadly) was about Reading Lolita in Tehran, and I mentioned how Jane Austen was one of the authors discussed in the book. It all feels very serendipitous! I think it was meant to be to start it again with Sanditon, a story about new experiences set by the sea.  So next I'll write about those two movies I can't help but think about when I view Sanditon, Ep. 8.

I hope you'll come along for the journey.